Classic Halloween Jokes For Kids
Cartoon Halloween Jokes
For the complete colection of cartoon Halloween jokes knock on here!
Halloween Jokes Blog Sections
Find something new here in our Halloween Jokes blog!
Halloween Joke VideosYouTube responded to TubePress with an HTTP 410 - No longer available
Short Halloween Jokes
Q: What is a Mummies’ favorite type of dance music?
Q: Why aren’t there more famous skeletons?
A: They’re a bunch of no bodies!
Q: What do little trees say on Halloween?
A: Twig or treat!
Q: Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?
A: Because demons are a ghosts best friend forever!
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a orange pumpkin patch!
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
Q: What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common?
A: Both have blank smiling expressions and are hollow inside!
Q: Why do witches need to wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!
Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building!
Q: What do you do with a very green monster?
A: Wait until it ripens!
Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed, again!
Q: Why doesn’t anyone like Count Dracula?
A: He’s a real pain in the neck!
Q: Why did the witches have to cancel their baseball game?
A: Because they ran out of bats!
Q: What goes Ha-ha-ha-ha!, thud!!! and keeps laughing?
A: A monster laughing it’s head off!
Q: What do you call a man who lures women into his place and turns them into ghastly freaks?
A: A 1980′s hairdresser!
Q: How do vampires get around?
A: In their bloody mobiles!
Q: How many witches does it take to change a LED light bulb?
A: Depends on what you want to change it into!!
Q: When does a spooky skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone!
Q: What is Dracula’s favorite position in baseball?
Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!
Q: What did one little girl ghost say to other little girl ghost?
A: Do you believe we use to be people?
Q: How do ugly witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch!
Q: What does a cute baby bat say before going to bed?
A: Turn on the dark! I’m afraid of the light!
Q: Do spooky scary monsters eat hot popcorn with their fingers?
A: NO, they eat some poor guys fingers separately!
Q: How do you upset a blood sucking vampire?
A: Go to his house and install a large skylight!
Q: What kind of monsters like hard core rap music?
Q: Why can’t mummies go on vacation?
A: Because they’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
Q: How do vampires invite each other out for lunch?
A: Do you want to go for a bite?
Q: What kind of shoes do baby ghosts wear?
Q: Who is the Dracula’s super hero girl friend?
A: Bat Ghoul!
Q: Why did Dracula have to go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank dry!
Q: What do you get when you cross a super computer with a bloody sucking vampire?
A: A know-it-all, that’s really a pain in the neck!
Q: Where did the busy ghost buy his stamps?
A: At the spooky post office!
Q: What did one old witch say to other when she asked for a ride?
A: There’s always broom for one more!
Q: What did the scary witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She had to witch-hike!
Q: What’s the true ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
Q: How do you rid a horror-able ghost from your home?
A: Ask him to split the bills!
Q: What is Count Dracula’s blood type?
A: The same as his lunch, bright red!
Q: What is a vampire’s pet peeve?
A: A Tourniquet!
Q: What do you get if you cross sleeping beauty & Dracula?
A: A vampire that never gets up!
Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling out spells!
Q: What does Dracula say when introduced to someone new?
A: Hello, pleased to be eat you!
Q: What is the best way to talk to Count Dracula?
A: By bat phone!
Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
A: You can’t fool me, I can see right through you!
Q: What does a ghost swim in?
A: DEAD sea water!
Q: What do goblins drink when they’re hot and thirsty?
A: Ice cold Ghoul-aid!!!
Q: What kind of roads do young ghosts haunt?
A: DEAD ENDS!
Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They’re very meeewsical!
Q: Where do hard working ghosts go on vacation?
A: The Eerie canal!
Q: Why did Dracula move to England?
A: Cause he want some royal blood!
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
A: By blood vessels!
Q: Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
A: He was caught drinking on the job!
Q: What do skeletons say before eating?
A: Bone Appetit!
Q: Why didn’t the Jack-O-Lantern go to the dance?
A: He wasn’t lit and didn’t have a match!
Q: Why couldn’t the mummy answer the phone?
A: Because she was all wrapped up!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn’t have any guts!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!
Q: What kind of fruit do vampires like?
A: Juicy neckterines!
Q: What did one thirst vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!
Q: Did you hear about the Grim Reaper’s new job?
A: An HIV counsellor!
Q: How does the zombie know what time it is?
A: He just asks!
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite Halloween candy?
A: A juice red sucker!
Q: What did the witch’s kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse!
Q: What is an evil monster’s favorite food?
A: Ghoul scout cookies!
Q: What do little ghost kids eat for dinner?
Q: What type of art do skeletons like?
Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his giant vintage motorcycle?
A: I’m bone to be wild!
Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
Q: Where does a young model ghost go to get her hair done?
A: To the BOOty parlor!
Q: What does a ghost put on her breakfast cereal in the morning?
A: A few boonanas and booberries!
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite feast of the year?
A: Fangsgiving Day dinner!
Q: When do witches like to cook their victims?
A: On Fry-Day!
Q: What do you call two witches living together?
Q: What does a witch ask for when she is staying in a hotel?
A: Fast broom service!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with!
Q: What’s a spooky ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?
A: The roller ghoster!
Q: What’s a healthy ghosts favorite fruit?
Q: Where do ghosts go to buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store!
Q: What’s the part of a restaurant where vampires don’t suck blood?
A: The non-suckers section!
Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until your spooken too!
Q: What kind of clothes do the coolest zombies wear?
A: Decay NY!
Q: Why are vampires like to vote Democrats?
A: They wanted to Gore in 2000!
Q: Why do manly ghosts have so much trouble dating?
A: Women can see right through them!
Q: What’s the difference between a mummy and an Indian?
A: An Indian lives in a teepee, and a mummy is the living dead!
Q: Why shouldn’t you try to hug a spooky ghost?
A: Because all you get is a couple of handfuls of sheet!
Q: What did the full moon vampire say to the other full moon vampire?
A: See you next month!