Chuck Norris Halloween Facts

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris walks into a House it then becomes haunted.

Some little kids like to wear superman costumes until they find out that superman wears a Chuck Norris costume!

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 zombies, then it exploded.

Chuck Norris isn’t afraid of the zombie apocalypse he was one the one that created it.

Chuck Norris was born to kill the living dead!

Chuck Norris costumes are for people that want to survive Halloween.

Once a vampire bit Chuck Norris’s neck. And his neck sucked the blood out of the vampire.

Chuck Norris was the reason why vampires turn to bats.

When a vampire bites Chuck Norris their teeth break.

Pumpkins turn to smiling Jack-o-lanterns on Halloween so Chuck Norris doesn’t smash them.

When Chuck Norris walks up to a bail of hay it turns into a scare crow.

When you go trick or treating at Chuck Norris house. Well……….

When you go trick or treating at Chuck Norris house you can’t even open the gate.

When you go trick or treating at Chuck Norris house he has already taken your candy from you to give back to you!

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one zombie.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

Chuck Norris can set zombies on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris once shot a zombie dead with his finger.

In an average living room there are 666 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Why don’t ghosts like the living room? That’s where Chuck Norris hangs out.

Why are there so many zombies these days. So Chuck Norris can kill you twice.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris leaves teeth under his pillow for the tooth fairy, just never his own.

Chuck Norris eats skeletons for breakfast!

Mummies wear white wraps to hide from Chuck Norris.

Every Chuck Norris costume is a five star costume just because it looks like Chuck Norris.

A zombie attempted to bite Chuck Norris so Chuck Norris ate him.

Chuck Norris went trick or treating. There was only treats that Halloween!

Chuck Norris went trick or treating. And every one on the block gave him their house as a treat.

If it looks like eye candy, tastes like eye candy, and feels like eye candy but Chuck Norris says it’s a real eye, then it’s a real eye.

Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He just kills it first!

When the zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn’t try to survive. The zombies do.

Chuck Norris once went to mars. That’s why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris can hit a monster so hard that it’s blood will bleed.

Chuck Norris CAN find a transparent ghost.

Vampires only come out at night because Chuck Norris likes to sleep!

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris throws you into a bottomless pit, you hit the bottom.

Chuck Norris can turn Halloween candy corn into chocolate!

Chuck Norris can catch ghosts from a haunted house and then gives out free sheets to the homeless!

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns that the boogeyman isn’t real, it’s when he learns Chuck Norris is.

The reason newborn monsters cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him!

A demon was going to kill Chuck Norris when he was sleeping. But saw his pillow was a gun and gave up.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

Chuck Norris doesn’t endorse any Halloween candy companies. They endorse him!

Chuck Norris doesn’t endorse any Halloween costume manufacturers. They endorse him!

Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow!

Chuck Norris doesn’t carve his pumpkins for Halloween, they just turn up smiling.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dress up in a Halloween costume. People dress up as him!

Chuck Norris doesn’t buy his own Halloween candy, he dares you not to give him yours.

Chuck Norris has never bought Halloween candy, no ones dares to ask him for it!

Monsters go to Chuck Norris to learn how to be scary!

Chuck Norris likes training with frogs as they can croak many times a night, Not like you!

Orange witches cones are to mark where Chuck Norris took out a witch.

In the first second Count Dracula and Chuck Norris met Dracula was dead!

Chuck Norris though vampire came with steaks!

Some people Pinterest vampire images, Chuck Norris stakes real vampires to his wall!

Why does Chuck Norris like killing witches. He gets the broom to clean up afterwards!

Chuck Norris number one fan is the Grim Reaper.

Chuck Norris can turn a white ghost whiter!

Chuck Norris can skin a skeleton!

What’s the difference between Chuck Norris and Zombie?
A zombie has Chuck Norris’s fist in it’s head!

More Chuck Norris Halloween Facts

Why are Zombies green?
They all know what Chuck Norris does to Zombies!

Why did Chuck Norris kill the vampire?
It kept coffin all day!

Where does Chuck Norris keep score?
At the grave yard!

How do you know Chuck Norris likes you?
You are not in the grave yard, yet!

What does Chuck Norris give out as a Halloween treat?
A Chuck Norris action figure!

Why does everyone go to Chuck Norris house and give candy on Halloween?
He give you your life in return!

If you check where your Halloween candy comes from. Chuck Norris has been there and kill someone!

On Halloween, sharks dress up as Chuck Norris!

A ghost tried to scare Chuck Norris, That’s back when ghosts were real!
A Vampire tried to bite Chuck Norris, That’s back when vampires were real!

Chuck Norris enjoys turning bad guys into zombies. So he can kill them twice!

Chuck Norris can hit a vampire in the heart with a toothpick!

Why did the vampire hide in a body bag?
It’s the last place Chuck Norris will look!

Chuck Norris once was on the last episode of the Walking dead. He kill all the zombies in the first minute and sat around planing his next TV show!

Chuck Norris’ favorite Halloween candy are jaw breakers.

This Halloween only a Atomic Fireball will keep Chuck Norris happy!

Bazooka Bubble Gum, is the only Gum that Goes in Chuck Norris mouth!

Find more funny Halloween Jokes here!

Scarecrow Jokes  |  Witch Jokes | Skeleton Jokes | Ghost Jokes

Zombie Jokes | Spider Jokes | Monster Jokes | Halloween Candy Jokes