Ghost Jokes

Ghost  Jokes

A sheet full of funny ghost jokes for kids that love a goo laugh when Halloween is near!

 

Q: How did the glamorous ghost earn her living?
A: She was a cover ghost!

Q: How can you tell if a ghost is angry?
A: It turns red!

Q: How did the ghost patch his sheet?
A: With a pumpkin patch!

Q: What does a zombie get when it bites a ghost?
A: A mouth full of sheet!

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice Scream!

Q: Why did the ghost starch her sheet?
A: 
She wanted everyone to be scared stiff!

Q: What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?
A: 
A little holy terror!

Q: Where do ghosts mail their letters?
A: 
At the ghost office!

Ghost Jokes 1

 

Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A: 
A dead ringer!

Q: Why are so few ghosts arrested?
A: It’s hard to pin anything on them!

Q: How do ghosts learn songs?
A: They read the sheet music!

Q: How do well-groomed ghosts keep their hair in place?
A: With scare spray!

– A pretty girl wanted to marry a ghost.
– I don’t know what possessed her!

Q: What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
A: Boo‐ts and ghoul‐oshes!

Q: What color are ghosts?
A: Boooo!

Q: What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
A: Boo‐ties!

Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A: Ghoul‐aid!

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: A dead hoblin goblin!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, poodle, and a ghost?
A: A cocker‐poodle‐boo!

Q: What does a ghost go if they want to swim?
A: The Dead Sea!

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.

Q: What kind of cars do ghosts drive?
A: Boo‐‐icks!

Q: What kind of horses do ghost kids like to ride?
A: Night‐mares!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a chicken and a ghost?
A: A peck‐a‐boo!

Ghost Jokes 2

 

Q: What’s a ghost favorite game?
A: Hide‐and‐Go‐Shriek.

Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
A: Anywhere where he can boo‐gie.

Q: Who protects the shores where spirits live?
A: The Ghost Guard!

Q: Why did the ghosts put a fence around the cemetery?
A: People were dying to get in!

Q: Why is the letter G scary?
A: It turns a host into a ghost!

Q: Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?
A: Because demons are a ghosts best friend!

Q: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
A: He didn’t have a haunting license!

Q: Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: Who writes all the books about haunted houses?
A: Ghostwriters, who else?

Q: Who did the ghost invite to his party?
A: Anyone he could dig up!

Q: Where do ghosts go in October?
A: The coffin of the year show.

Q: Where do ghost trains stop?
A: At devil crossings!

Q: Where do Australian ghosts go on holiday?
A: Lake Eerie!

Q: What vehicle does a kid ghost like to ride?
A: A boocycle!

Q: What time is it when a ghost haunts your house?
A: Time to move to a new house!

Ghost Jokes 3

 

Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
A: How do you boo, sir?

Q: What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A: Boo boos!

Q: What kind of ghost haunts skyscrapers?
A: Higher spirits!

Q: What is a ghost’s favourite day of the week?
A: Frightday!

Q: What is a ghost proof cycle?
A: One with no spooks in it!

Q: What ghost helped the Little League’s win their game?
A: The team spirit!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite bird?
A: A scare crow.

Q: What medicine do ghosts take for colds?
A: Coffin drops!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries!

Q: What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get in a car?
A: They boo‐kle their seatbelts!

Q: Why wasn’t the ghost successful?
A: He didn’t believe in himself!

Q: Why don’t ghosts go out in the rain?
A: It dampers down their spirits!

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A: For the Boos!

Ghost Jokes 4

Q: Why did the ghost become a lousy comedian?
A: For the boos!

Q: Why are ghosts cowards?
A: Because they’ve got no guts!

Q: Who writes ghosts jokes?
A: Crypt writers!

Q: Who greets you at the door of a haunted house?
A: A ghost host!

Q: Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
At a ghastly station!

Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams!

Q: What type of music do ghosts prefer?
A: Spiritual, of course.

Q: What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream!

Q: What patriotic song do ghosts like best?
A: America the Boo‐tiful!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Boo‐berry pie with I‐scream!

Q: What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?
A: The bartender said “Sorry sir, we don’t serve spirits here.”

Q: What do short‐sighted ghosts wear?
A: Spooktacles!

Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: Ice Scream!

Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Ghoulash or spook‐ghetti!

Q: What did the polite ghost say to her son?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spooken to!

Q: What did one ghost say to another?
A: Do you believe in people?

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite kind of street?
A: A dead end!

Q: What airline do ghosts fly on?
A: American Scareways!

Q: How do ghosts like their drinks?
A: Ice ghoul!

Q: How did the ghost song and dance act make a living?
A: By appearing in television spooktaculars!

Q: What do little ghosts drink?
A: 
Evaporated milk.

Q: Why did the ghost cross the road?
A: To get to “THE OTHER SIDE”

Q: What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
A: 
Tombstones!

Q: How do ghosts keep fit?
A: By regular exorcise!

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: 
Dayscare centers!

Q: What country is haunted by ghosts?
A: No country, just a terror‐tory!

Q: What did one ghost say to the other when they fell down?
A: I got a booo booo!

Q: What do ghosts dance to?
A: Soul music!

Q: What do teenage ghosts dance to?
A: Soulless music!

Q: What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
A: Coffee with a scream and some sugar!

Q: What do ghosts have in the seats of their cars?
A: Sheet belts!

Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A: Watch the board and I’ll go through it again!

Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: Do you really believe in people?

Q: What kind of jewels to ghosts wear?
A: Tombstones!

Q: What trees do ghouls like best?
A: Ceme‐trees!

Q: Who represents ghosts in Congress?
A: The Spooker of the House!

Q: Why are ghosts in graveyards so noisy?
A: Because of all the coffin!

Q: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
A: He didn’t have a haunting license!

Q: Why wasn’t the ghost popular at parties?
A: He wasn’t much to look at!

Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he is always a goblin!

Q: What story do little ghosts like to hear at bedtime?
A: Ghoul warlocks and the Three Scares!

Q: What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw seven ghosts walking behind you?
A: Hope it is Halloween!

Q: Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?
A: It had a nervous breakdown!

Q: Why did the ghost rush home from school?
A: To watch an after‐ghoul special on TV!

Q: How do ghosts like their eggs cooked?
A: Terri-fried!

Q: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
A: You look boo‐tiful tonight!

Q: What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?
A: Scream or sugar!

Q: What do little ghosts like to play with instead of Frisbees?
A: Boo‐merangs!

Q: What do you call a prehistoric ghost?
A: A terror‐dactyl!

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo!

Q: What do young ghouls write their homework in?
A: Exorcise books!

Q: What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning?
A: Boonanas and Booberries!

Q: What does a little ghost call his mother and father?
A: His trans‐parents!

Q: What fairy tale do all little girl ghosts like best?
A: Sleeping Boo‐ty!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide‐and‐go‐shriek!

Q: What is one room a ghost’s house doesn’t need?
A: A living room!

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A: One with a dead end!

Q: What rides do ghosts like best at the amusement park?
A: The Scream roller ghoster!

Q: When does a ghost have breakfast?
A: In the moaning!

Q: Where do small ghosts go during the night when their parents are out scare people?
A: All nightscare centers!

Q: Where do fashionable ghosts shop for new high quality sheets?
A: At their favorite boo‐tiques.

Q: Where do ghosts buy their household items?
A: At the ghost‐ery store.

Q: Where do ghosts live?
A: In a terror‐tory!

Q: Where does Sitting Bull’s ghost live?
A: In a creepy teepee!

Q: Who speaks at the ghosts’ press conference?
A: The spooksperson!

Q: Who did the ghost go with to the Halloween party?
A: With No‐Body that had a body!

Q: Why did the doctor tell the ghost to go on a diet?
A: So she could keep floating higher off the ground.

Q: Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
A: To get a Booster shot!

Q: What do you call a roomful of baby ghosts?
A: A bunch of boo‐boos.

Q: What do the ghosts of dead gingerbread men wear?
A: Cookie sheets!

Q: What did the guard at the haunted house say?
A: Halt! Who ghost there?

Q: What do ghosts do when they’re in hospital?
A: They talk about their apparitions!

Q: What day of the week do ghosts look forward to?
A: Moanday!

Q: What did the ghost bride throw to her bridesmaids?
A: Her boo‐quet!

Q: What do ghosts mail home while on vacation?
A: Spooky ghostcards.

Q: What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
A: Ghoul! Really ghoul!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite Broadway play?
A: Phantom of the opera!

Q: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
A: Mas‐scare‐a!

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres?
A: Surgical spirits!

Q: What keeps ghost happy?
A: The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!

Q: What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A: A skeleton staff took over!

Q: What do you have to take to become a coroner?
A: A stiff exam!

Q: What do you call a ghost who was born in a house fire?
A: A toasty ghosty!

Q: What do you call a torn sheet ghost?
A: A holy terror!

Q: What do little ghosts drink?
A: Hot evaporated milk!

Q: What do you call a ghost that likes to boast?
A: The boastful ghost!

Q: What did the ghost have a helium balloon tied to it?
A: It was a cripple ghost!

Q: Why to ghosts feel so light?
A: They are low in fat!

Q: What type of food do ghosts eat?
A: Fat free!

Q: Why was the ghost so bright?
A: He was using a sheet of gold leaf!

Q: Why do ghosts hate Halloween?
A: All the kids think they are other kids!

Q: Why did the ghost have a beef with the zombie?
A: The zombie stole his body!

Q: What number do kid ghost call in an emergencies?
A: Boo-boo-boo!

Q: Why did the vampire think the ghost was drunk?
A: It kept crashing into walls!

Q: Why does the ghost ship never sink?
A: It floats in the air!

What Are Ghosts?

In the mythology of the United States and many other Western cultures, a ghost or spirit is a dead person who interacts with the living world. In stories, a ghost may whisper or groan, cause things to move or fall, mess with electronics — even appear as a shadowy, blurry or see-through figure. More here!

 

Ghost Jokes CT

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