Jack-O-Lantern Jokes

Jack-O-Lantern Jokes

A patch full of funny Jack-o-Lantern jokes for Halloween.

Q: How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween?
A: Pump kin!

Q: What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?
A: Cut it out!

Q: When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?
A: When you drop it; then it’s squash!

Q: Why do Jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?
A: You’d have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!

Q: Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?
A: It had no guts!

Q: Why were the two pumpkins so close?
A: They had deep roots!

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch!

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Q: What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash!

Q: Who is the most scare monster for a Jack-o-lantern?
A: The fairy godmother!

Q: Where does the Jack-o-lantern go to get his horrors?
A: A pumpkin soup factory!

Q: What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi (3.1428571428571428571428571428571)

Q: How did one Jack-o-lantern make himself happy?
A: He cut a smile out of his face!

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi!

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Q: Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?
A: Because they just had their brains scooped out!

Q: What do you call a pumpkin carved to look like cow?
A: Jerk-O-Lantern!

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Q: Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
A: It fell off the wagon!

Q: What’s black, white, orange and waddles?
A: A penquin holding a pumpkin!

Q: Why was Cinderella not very good at boxing?
A: Because her coach was a pumpkin!

Q: What do you call a fat Jack-o-Lantern?
A: A Plumpkin!

Q: What did the pumpkins study at school?
A: Math!

Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
A: Did you get bitten by a zombie?

Q: What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?
A: “That was filling.”

Q: What kind of romances do pumpkins have?
A: Mushy!

Q: What vegetable does a pumpkin turn into
when an elephant steps on it?
A: Squash!

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Q: What do pumpkins eat at ball games?
A: Pulp Corn!

Q: What does a pumpkin tiger do?
A: Stalk its prey!

Q: What did the pumpkin say to his girl friend?
A: “I seed you with another guy.”

Q: What’s orange and goes putt-putt-putt?
A: An Outboard Pumpkin!

Q: When asked how he was, what did the pumpkin reply?
A: “I’m vine, thank you.”

Q: Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?
A: So she could hide in the pumpkin patch!

Q: Why did the little pumpkins cross the road?
A: To go to school!

Q: What’s orange and flies?
A: Super Pumpkin!

Q: What did a mad pumpkin say to his enemy?
A: “I’ll stem on your foot!”

Q: What does a pumpkin priest stand on?
A: A Pulpit!

Q: Who put the orange in Halloween?
A: A Jack-o-lantern!

Q: Why is A Jack-o-lantern just like Buddha?
A: They both have an inner light!

Q: What time does a Jack-o-lantern eat?
A: Once you carve out its mouth!

Q: Why is a Jack-o-lantern orange?
A: Health and safety!

Q: Why is a Jack-o-lantern orange?
A: So you don’t trip over it!

Q: Why are Jack-o-lanterns so orange?
A: A diet of orange juice!

Q: Why do Jack-o-lanterns look up to scarecrows?
A: They have been looking up to them since they were pumpkins!

Q: Why do Jack-o-lanterns sit outside a house?
A: They have no hands to knock on the front door!

Q: What kind of night lights do vampires like to use?
A: A Jack-o-Lantern!

Q: How did the Jack-o-Lantern win the science prize?
A: A light when on in his head!

What is a Jack-o-lantern?

The term jack-o’-lantern has been used in American English to describe a lantern made from a hollowed-out pumpkin since the 19th century, but the term originated in 17th-century Britain, where it was used to refer to a man with a lantern or to a night watchman. Find out more here.

Jack-o-Lantern Jokes text ct

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