Rat Jokes

Rat are one of the smallest monster that make Halloween. So rat jokes are just prefect to get that creepy feeling.

Q: Who won the war between zombies and rats?
A: Rats of course, they thought zombies were walking snacks!

Q: Why did the rat eat a candle inside the Jack-o-Lantern?
A: For some light refreshment!

Q: How do rats celebrate when moving into your house on Halloween?
A: With a haunting mouse warming party!

Q: What do rats and ghosts have on common?
A: The both scare the hell out of you!

Q: How do you know your rat is hungry for Halloween candy?
A: He’s breathing!

Q: What kind of costumes do rat wear on Halloween?
A: A black cat costume!

Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the river?
A: Catfish!

Q: What do you call a rat who can pick up a horse?
A: Sir!

Q: Why do rats like haunted houses?
A: They get your screams for free!

Q: What did one lab rat say to the other?
A: I’ve got my scientist so well trained that every Halloween I push the buzzer, he brings me a candy!

Q: Where do you go to replace a rat’s tail?
A: A re-tail store!

Q: What do you call a person with only two rats?
A: Newbie!

Q: What does a rat dress up as to get into your house on Halloween?
A: A computer mouse!

Q: What did the rat say when his friend broke his front teeth on Halloween?
A: Are they leaving hard cheese out again this year!

Q: What is a mouse’s favorite Halloween game?
A: Hide and squeak!

Q: Why do rats come after bats?
A: It’s the way the dictionary reads!

Q: What is the most popular Halloween costumes for sale in Los Vegas?
A: The rat pack!

Q: What is a rat’s favorite Halloween toy?
A: Road kill!

Q: What does the rat say to its mate?
A: “Were like crackers and cheese”

Q: What’s gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A: A mouse sandwich!

Q: Why did the boogeyman leave the closet?
A: He found a family of rats were there first!

Q: Why do ghosts have holes in them?
A: Blame the rats!

Q: What did the rat say to the mean witch?
A: I’ll eat your broom!

Q: What goes eek, eek, bang?
A: A rat in a minefield!

Q: What squeaks and flies?
A: A bat rat!

Q: Why do rat need oiling?
A: Because they squeak!

Q: What does a twelve-pound rat say to a black cat?
A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!

Q: Why do rats have long tails?
A: Well, they’d look silly with long hair!

Q: What do you get if you try to cross a rat with a skunk?
A: Dirty looks from the rat!

Q: Where do rats pick up a new partner?
A: In any old dirty pipe!

Q: What had human and zombie blood and flesh all of it when it left the house?
A: A rat!

Q: Humans fear the zombie apocalypse. What did zombies fear?
A: The rat apocalypse.

Q: Why do rats hate skeletons?
A: There is no flesh to chew on them!

Q: What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
A: Stalagrats!

Q: What did everyone say about the rat’s Halloween party?
A: It was dirty and full of smelly rats!

Three rats are sitting at the bar on Halloween eve talking and bragging about what they did last Halloween. The first says, “I’m so tough, last Halloween I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!” The second says, “Well I’m so tough, Last Halloween I was caught in a rat trap and I had to eat it all to get free!” Then the third rat gets up and says, “Later guys, this Halloween like last Halloween I’m going to fight a black cat and win”

Find more funny spooky Halloween jokes

Bat Jokes | Black Cat Jokes | Boogeyman Jokes

Ghost Jokes | Skeleton Jokes | Witch Jokes | Zombie Jokes