Haunted House Jokes

For Halloween

Haunted house jokes are great for any one that are looking for a great Halloween jokes!

Haunted House Jokes

Q: Why are haunted houses scary?
A: They have blenders without lids!

Q: What happen to the man that tried to buy the old place on dead end street?
A: The real-estate agent was a ghost. The man could see straight through him!

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he went pass the haunted house?
A: Terrier-fied!

Q: Do hear about the haunted house with a basement full old women?
A: It was a real whine cellar!

Q: What gives you the power and strength to walk into a haunted house?
A: A door!

Q: Why are fluorescent lights so quite in a haunted house?
A: Because they are to scared to hum!

Q: Why did the haunted house scream?
A: The cracking the window pain was to much to handle!

Q: How do you warm up a Haunted house after it’s been painted?
A: Give it a second coat!

Q: Who greets you at the door of an old haunted house?
A: A ghost host!

Q: Where do you find the most scary haunted house?
A: At the end of a dead end road!

Q: Why did 13 ghosts live in the haunted house?
A: It was their terror-tory!

Q: What is one room a ghost never goes in a haunted house?
A: The living room!

Q: What did they say about the ghost’s haunted house front yard Halloween display?
A: It’s a howling success!

Q: Why did the lady ghost leave the haunted house for the baseball field?
A: Because diamonds are a girl ghost’s best friend!

Q: How do ghosts open the door to their haunted houses?
A: With a skeleton key!

Q: How do you get a blond ghost on the roof?
A: Tell her the boos are on the house!

Q: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A: A wide scream TV!

Q: Why did the vampire get thrown out of the haunted house?
A: He kept trying to bite the customers!

Q: What did one haunted house ghost say to another?
A: My mummy is about to unwrap your mummy!

Q: Wear do ugly epode get jobs?
A: Haunted Houses!

Q: What kind of house is the tallest in the city?
A: A haunted house. It has hundreds of horror stories!

Q: Why is this the World’s Scariest Haunted House?
A: It’s full of horror stories!

Q: Why don’t zombies go in to haunted houses?
A: There only have disembodied spirits in them!

Q: What do you get when a ghost goes in to a refrigerator?
A: A sheet of ice!

Q: What is a haunted house?
A: A party house for disembodied spirits!

Q: Why did the mummy run around her bed?
A: She wanted to catch up on her sleep!

Q: What’s a ghosts idea of housework?
A: Just floating around so mummy can vacuum!

Q: Where do witches park there brooms?
A: Always in front of a haunted house!

Q: How does a haunted house enjoy Halloween?
A: When three kids turn up. It gives out two candies!

Q: Why do ghosts like old Haunted houses over new ones?
A: A newer house gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed one!

Q: What is the first sign your house is becoming haunted?
A: Every pen you try to use in the house doesn’t work!

Q: Why are haunted houses so dirty?
A: All the ghosts are dead men!

Q: Why are haunted houses cover in spider webs?
A: Pet spiders aren’t allowed in the house!

Q: Why are there so many dead people in the kitchen of a haunted house?
A: That’s were the knives are!

Q: Mummy ghost asked dad ghost to whisper dirty things in her ear.
A: Sure, “the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room.”

Q: Why is this haunted house full of horror?
A: It has a baby’s first microwave in it!

Q: Why did the right handed vampire hunter die in the haunted house?
A: He could only find left handed stakes!

A teenage ghost comes back home after a good night out scaring people to death and says “I’m so hungry, I’m dying here!”
Mum replies ” you did the all ready!”

Q: Why didn’t the baby ghost like going in the living room?
A: There was a couch potato with eyes all over it!

Q: How do you know that the haunted house your in is is not quit right?
A: The sign in the kitchen reads “Countless number of people have eating in here and gone on to lead perfectly normal lives ………… as ghosts!

What Is A Haunted House?

A haunted house, a spooky house or ghost house in ghost lore is a house or other building often perceived as being inhabited by disembodied spirits of the deceased who may have been former residents or were otherwise connected with the property. Parapsychologists often attribute haunting to the spirits of the dead who have suffered from violent or tragic events in the building’s pas. Find out more here.

Here Are Some Other Funny Halloween Jokes

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