Halloween Jokes For 2022

Halloween Jokes for 2022 – Make the most of the best holiday of the year with these great Halloween jokes for 2022. A nice collection from across the website placed in one post. Enjoy these new to classic to just awful Halloween jokes this Halloween on your friends and family members. So Happy Halloween and have a spooktacular Halloween.

Funny Halloween Jokes For 2022

Q: What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
A: He got ticks!

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop!

Q: Why did the Zombie join the army?
A: He heard they give out arms!

Q: Who was the most famous ghost detective?
A: Sherlock Moans!

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend!

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck!

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin!

Q: What do they grow in the Halloweenland garden?
A: Zombeets!

Q: What has 9 eyes and catches flies?
A: A cyclops baseball team!

Q: How can you tell that a theater is haunted?
A: The actors get stage fright!

Q: How does Bigfoot capture special Halloween memories?
A: With a pho-TOE-graph!

Q: What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
A: Happy Owl-ween!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries!

Q: What do spirits call their navy?
A: The Ghost Guard!

Q: What do old skeletons complain about?
A: Aching bones!

Q: What do werewolf like for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs!

Q: How does a werewolf eat ice cream?
A: With it’s mouth like everyone else!

Q: Why are skeletons so relaxed?
A: Nothing gets under their skin!

Q: What do monsters use to get into their castles?
A: Skeleton keys!

Q: What kind of car do zombies drive?
A: Monster trucks!

Q: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?
A: Nope – they eat the fingers separately!

Q: Why did the zombie quit his teaching job?
A: He only had one pupil left!

Q: What kind of roads do spirits haunt?
A: Dead Ends!

Q: Which amusement park ride do ghosts like the most?
A: Roller ghosters!

Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick!

Q: We do witches get all their puns from?
A: The only place Halloweenjokes.com!

Q: Who are cousins of the werewolf?
A: What-wolf and When-wolf!

Q: How do poltergeists move from floor to floor?
A: They use the SCARE-case.

Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogieman!

Q: How did Count Dracula start all of his letters?
A: Tomb it may concern!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite desert?
A: Boo-berry pie!

Q: What time do zombies wake up in the morning?
A: Ate o’clock!

Q: What time do zombies have dinner?
A: Ate o’clock!

Q: What has 1854 bones and catches flies?
A: A skeleton baseball team!

Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
A: Lazy bones!

Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: The cold goes right through them!

Q: What happened to the pirate ship that sank at sea?
A: It came back with a skeleton crew!

Q: What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
A: You suck!

Q: Why do skeletons like to drink milk?
A: Milk is good for your bones!

Q: What do you call a silly skeleton?
A: A numbskull!

Q: How do you make a werewolf laugh?
A: Give it a funny bone!

Q: What did the wolfman say when he met his new neighbor?
A: Hey, howl are you?

Q: What do you call a dog that meditates?
A: Aware wolf!

Q: Why is Superman’s costume so tight fitting?
A: Because it’s a size “S”!!!!!

Q: What runs around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence!

Q: What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff!

Q: What did the French skeleton call his friend?
A: Bone ami!

Q: What is black, white & dead all over?
A: A zombie penguin!

Q: Why can’t skeleton musicians perform at church?
A: Because they have no organs!

Q: Where do vampire students eat their lunch?
A: In the casketeria!

Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
A: Boonanas!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton like to fly?
A: He had no guts!

Q: Why don’t people like vampires?
A: He have bat tempers!

Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!

Q: How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope!

Q: Why do witches ride brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaner’s have short cords!

Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray!

Q: Why did the vampire like baseball?
A: Every night he got to turn into a bat!

Q: Where do spirits go to send their mail?
A: The ghost office!

Q: How do ghosts get their exercise?
A: They play frisboo!!

Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling!

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with!

Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a!

Q: Where do ghosts like to water ski?
A: Lake Erie!

Q: Which type of tree do ghost like most?
A: Ceme-trees!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite candy?
A: Suckers!

Q: What do you call zombie twins?
A: DEAD ringers!

Q: Where do zombies go to vacation?
A: The DEADiterranean!

Q: How do skeletons contact other skeletons?
A: They use a telebone!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to play baseball?
A: His heart wasn’t in it!

Q: What type of artist was the skeleton?
A: A skullptor!

Q: What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A: A hot dog!

Q: What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A: A dingo-ling!

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his tail?
A: He was trying to make ends meet!

Q: How do you prevent a werewolf from attacking you?
A: Throw a stick and yell fetch!

Q: Do zombies eat french fries with their fingers?
A: Nope, they eat the fingers separately!

Q: What happened when the werewolf went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: What do you call a cold werewolf?
A: A Chilli Dog!

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking werewolf?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: Where do ghosts like to swim?
A: The Dead sea!

Q: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A: A rattler!

Q: How did the little dog feel when it saw a werewolf?
A: Terrier-fied!

Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs!

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the mechanic?
A: For body work!

Q: In what way are zombies like computers?
A: They both use megabites!

Q: Where do baby ghosts stay during the day?
A: Day-scare!

Q: What is a monster’s favorite snack food?
A: Ghoul scout cookies!

Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building!

Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
A: Twick or Tweet!

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo!

Q: What kind of candy do zombies hate most?
A: Life Savers!

Q: What do skeletons say as they head out to sea?
A: Bone voyage!

Q: What do you call a werewolf that uses bad language?
A: A swearwolf!

Q: What do goblins drink when they’re hot and thirsty?
A: Green Ghoul-aid!

Q: What was the ghosts favorite book?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet!

Q: What do you call a lycanthrope who gets lost?
A: A where-wolf!

Q: What did the cowboy say when the werewolf ate his dog?
A: Doggone!

Q: Which type of fruit do vampire’s like most?
A: NECKtarines!

Q: What did the waiter say to the werewolf?
A: bone-appetit!

Q: Where does a vampire get it’s bloody funny jokes from?
A: Halloween best joke site Halloweenjokes.com!

Q: What do zombies read every morning?
A: Their HORRORscope!

Q: What type of dogs do zombies like the most?
A: Bloodhounds!

Q: What happened to the witch with the upside-down nose?
A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off!

Q: Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
A: Because he didn’t have a haunting license!

Q: Where do ghosts find Halloween Jokes?
A: They search Boogle! (google)

Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a camp fire?
A: A toasty ghosty!

Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite body of water?
A: Lake Eerie!

Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-Bone!

Q: Where do ghosts use their boats?
A: The Eerie Canal!

Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: “You Are My Sunshine!”

Q: Where do werewolves store their things?
A: In a were-house!

Q: What does Sasquatch say on Halloween?
A: Trick or Feet!

Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning!

Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he was always goblin’!

Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream!

Q: What do ghosts with poor eyesight wear?
A: Spook-tacles!

Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat!

Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
A: The night-mayor!

Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?
A: A Zombieoni!

Q: What was the mummy musician’s favorite note?
A: The dead sea!

Q: Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs?
A: At the ghost-ery store!

Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive!

Q: What do ghosts eat for lunch?
A: Boo-logna sandwiches!

Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch!

Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
A: A lazy bone!

Q: What city do most werewolves live?
A: Howllywood, California!

Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
A: The living room!

Q: What was the favorite color of the ghost who haunted a ship?
A: Navy Boo!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?
A: He had no body to dance with!

Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
A: The Sandwich!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Ice-Scream!

Q: What kind of music do ghosts listen to?
A: Spiritual music!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He has no guts!

Q: What does it take to become a zombie?
A: Deadication!

Q: What do you get when you cross a zombie and a snowman?
A: Frost-Bite!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A: A blood hound!

Q: Where position did the goblin play in soccer?
A: Ghoul-ie!

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop!

Q: How did the tiny Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
A: Terrier-fied!!!!

Q: What did the werewolf say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me!

Q: When do skeletons smile?
A: When something tickles it’s funny bone!

Q: How can you tell if a zombie is tired?
A: He’s just dead on his feet!

Q: Why did the skeleton run up the tree?
A: A dog wanted to eat it’s bones!

Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place?
A: They use SCARE spray!

Q: Why can’t you see a ghost’s mom and dad?
A: Because they’re transparents!

Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates!

Q: How do monsters search the internet?
A: The use Ghoulgle!! (Google is a search website)

Q: What’s the first thing witches do in the morning?
A: They wake up!

Q: Which sport do vampires like to play the most?
A: Bat-minton!

Q: How can you make a witch itch?
A: Take out the W!

Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
A: It could feel it in it’s bones!

Q: Where do most monsters live?
A: North and South Scare-olina!!

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body!

Q: What do you call a skeleton who always tells lies?
A: A boney phoney!

Q: Why don’t werewolves make good dancers?
A: They have two left feet!

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek!

Q: When do you see the most zombies?
A: Halloween!

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit!

Q: Who did the zombie take out on a date?
A: His Ghoul-friend!

Q. How does a witch tell the time?
A. With her witch-watch!

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures!

Q: How do ghosts like their coffee?
A: Dark with extra scream!

Q: Who do Cowboy zombies fight?
A: The DEADskins!

Q: Where did the warlock’s frog sit?
A: On a TOAD-stool!

Q: What type of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo Jeans!

Q: What do werewolves read to their children before bed?
A: Hairy tails!

Q: What do Italian ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spookgetti!

Q: Which type of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-Jeans!

Q: What did Charlie Brown say before playing electric guitar in the Halloween concert?
A: I gotta rock!

Q: What do you call a cold, evil candle ?
A: The wicked wick of the north!

Q: What kind of mistakes do spirits make?
A: Boo-boos!

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!

Q: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A: A boo-tie!

Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A: An itchy witchy!

Q: Why was the vampire artist so famous?
A: Because he was great at drawing blood!

Q: What do spirits send their friends while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards!

Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and says quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula!

Q: Who was the skeleton’s favorite Star Trek character?
A: Bones McCoy!

Q: How did skeletons send mail in the old days?
A: The bony express!

Q: Why did the skeleton go to hospital?
A: To have his ghoul bladder removed!

Q: What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A: A bud hound!

Q: What Jersey rock band do skeletons like most?
A: Bone Jovi!

Q: What happens when you cross a werewolf with a cat?
A: You have to get a new cat!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton eat spicy food?
A: He didn’t have the stomach for it!

Q: Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A: A re-tail store!

Q: Was the Headless Horseman handsome?
A: Yes, he was gourd-geous!

Q: What is the safest place to be during a zombie attack?
A: A living room!

Q: Why did Frankenstein’s monster wake up in the middle of the night?
A: He had a SHOCKING dream!

Q: Why did the zombie go nuts?
A: He lost his mind!

Q: What was the skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A: The trom-bone!

Q: What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A: A pupsicle!

Q: Why did the monster name his werewolf “Frost”?
A: Because Frost-bites!

Q: What do mothers dress up as for Halloween?
A: Mummies!

Q: How do you know that a werewolf has been in your fridge?
A: There are paw prints in the butter!

Q: What does a skeleton say when it gets angry with someone?
A: I’ve got a bone to pick with you!

Q: What time is it when a werewolf sees your dinner?
A: Time to get a new dinner!

Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?
A: Because all the jokes he told where rotten.

Q: What song do skeleton bikers ride to?
A: Bone to be wild!

Q: When did the Headless Horseman’s head stop being a pumpkin?
A: When he threw it – then it was a squash!

Q: What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder!

Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the acting role?
A: They wanted someone more lively!

Q: Which baseball team do skeletons like most?
A: Pittsburgh Pirates!

Q: What did one zombie say after eating a comedian?
A: This tastes funny!

Q: What do you call a skeleton who stays out in the snow too long?
A: A numbskull!

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin eating?
A: Bone appetite!

Q: What is a werewolf’s favorite band?
A: Meatloaf!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie?
A: He didn’t have the guts!

Q: What happened to the wolf who fell into the dishwasher?
A: He became a wash and werewolf!

Q: What do skeleton baseball players do when they’re at bat?
A: They bont!! (bunt)

Q: How do you make a werewolf stew?
A: Keep him waiting!

Q: What was the zombie’s favorite toy?
A: His Deady bear!

Q: What song do skeleton crooks listen to after a heist?
A: Bad to the Bone!

Q: What was the skeletons favorite rock band?
A: The Grateful Dead!

Q: What was the skeletons favorite Halloween joke website?
A: The best Halloween website is Halloweenjokes.com!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: He had no body to dance with!

Q: What did the werewolf say to his friend who missed school?
A: Howl are you?

Q: What do you call a skeleton who uses a door bell?
A: A dead ringer!

Q: What was the werewolf in the butcher’s shop arrested for?
A: Chop-lifting!

Q: Why was the werewolf upset with the skeleton?
A: He had a bone to pick with him!

Q: What time is it when ten werewolf chase someone?
A: 10 After 1!

Q: What do you call a beast at the full-moon who wears clothes?
A: A wear-wolf!

Q: What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A: A monster with a sense of humor!

Q: Who won the zombie race?
A: Nobody – it was a dead heat!

Q: Where did the skeleton go to fix it’s broken rib?
A: A spare rib restaurant!

Q: How did the skeleton know another skeleton was lying?
A: It could see right through him!

Q: What do you call a dentist who cleans a werewolf’s teeth?
A: Dinner!

Q: Which football team do skeletons like most?
A: Tampa Bay Bucaneers!

Q: Where do werewolves sit?
A: Anywhere they want!

Q: How do werewolves stop a dvd?
A: They press the paws button!

Q: What do ghosts wash their hair with?
A: Shamboo!

Q: Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
A: They couldn’t pin anything on him!

Q: What type of markets do werewolves avoid?
A: Flea markets!

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
A: To see the boogie man!

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When someone tickles it’s funny bone!

View Some of Our  Collection of Halloween Jokes on Halloweenjokes.com

These are only some of our most popular Halloween jokes! We have tens of thousands more broken down into categories on our famous Halloween Jokes for Kids page, along with entire collections of Bat Jokes;  Black Cat Jokes; Ghost Jokes; Frog Jokes; Frankenstein Jokes; Mummy Jokes; Demon Jokes; Scarecrow Jokes; skeleton jokes; Spider Jokes; Jack o’ Lantern Jokes; Werewolf Jokes; Zombie jokes and other funny Halloween jokes that will bring joy to your Halloween!