Funny Zombie Jokes

Funny Zombie Jokes, Funny Zombie Puns, Funny Zombie Humor

Q: What do you call a deer that lost it’s eyes in a zombie attack?
A: No eye deer!

Q: How do you catch a tame zombie?
A: The tame way!

Q: What do zombies and tile have in common?
A: If you put them down right you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

Q: Did you hear about the Scottish zombie who died?
A: He was Kilt!

Q: Why can’t you stab a zombie with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!

Q: What did the judge say when a zombie walked into the courtroom?
A: “Odor in the court!”

Q: What’s the worst place to shoot a zombie?
A: In a lower organ!

Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: “Are you going to kiss me or rot?”

Q: Have you heard the joke about the zombie that was taken out by a trash can?
A: It’s rubbish!

Q: What do you call crazy people that like walking with a zombie herd?
A: Psychos!

Q: How do zombies name their babies?
A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make!

Q: What’s the difference between zombie and a boy scout?
A: A boy scout comes home from camp!

Q: What’s the difference between a zombie and a park bench?
A: A park bench can support a family of four!

Q: Did you hear about the zombie standing on the road?
A: It got run over!

Q: Why did the zombie go to the funeral alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find anybody with guts left to go!

Q: What did the ocean do when a zombie walks towards it?
A: The ocean waves!

Q: Did you hear about the zombie whose whole left side was cut off?
A: He’s all right now!

Q: What do you call a zombie without a nose or a body?
A: Nobodynose!

Q: Why is the barn the worst place to hide from zombies?
A: Because the cows have horns!

Q: How did the female zombie end up with a smokin’ hot body?
A: Cremation!

Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A zombie who’s been struck by lightning!

Q: How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
A: His patient turn on him while cleaning his teeth!

Q: What’s the difference between a zombie and a normal person?
A: The zombie is looking at their iPhone!.

Q: What do you say to a zombie in a three piece suit?
A: “Dressed for your funeral”

Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a zombie?
A: The pizza doesn’t scream when it’s cut up in to pieces!

Q: Why was the vegetarian zombie that lived on mushrooms so popular?
A: Because he was a fun-gi!

Q: Why couldn’t the zombie say a Halloween joke?
A: He kept walking in to the punch line!

Q: How do you define what a zombie joke is?
A: Use the word zombie in it!

Q: What do you call a bunch of zombies inside a school bus?
A: A rotten banana!

Q: Why did the zombie cross the road?
A: It heard you!

Q: What do you call a walker with out legs?
A: A crawler!

Q: What creature has three legs?
A: A zombie with a leg in the mouth!

Q: What is green and very bad for your health if bitten?
A: A zombie!

Q: Why did the zombie go around telling jokes and not bite people?
A: He wanted them to laugh their heads off!

Here are Some Longer Zombie Jokes To Enjoy!

Two fathers and two sons went Zombie hunting.

Each shot a zombie but they shot only three zombies in all. How
come?
The hunters were a old man, his son and his grandson.

—-

Wow, Rick, I never thought a zombie would go that far!

Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get another one!

—-

“Your Sick”
“Wow your sick”

First one- Complement on your zombie killing skills!
Second one- Your lack of skills fighting zombies after you were bitten!

—-

I saw two zombie kids fighting in a elementary school playground. Being the only adult around, I had to step in. They didn’t stand a chance!

—-

Son, “Mommy, mommy, there is a zombie in the yard!”

Mother, “What??!!”

Son, “Gotcha, April’s fool! He is right behind you.”

—-

Little Johnny tells his friend, “My zombie died yesterday.”

Friend asks, “Oh, how did that happen?”

Johnny, “He hit his thumb with a hammer.”

Friend, “But you can’t die of that!”

Johnny, “I know but he wouldn’t stop moaning  so we had to shoot him.”

—-

Give a zombie a match, and he’ll won’t know what to do with it.

Set it on fire, and it will be warm for the rest of his life.

—-

Two zombies are enjoying dinner. One compliments the other, “I say, Tommy, your wife really makes a great meal.”

Find More Great Halloween Jokes Here

Zombie Jokes |  Skeleton Jokes  | Monster Jokes

Happy Halloween!