Halloween Bar Jokes

Halloween bar jokes for people that love to laugh!

A blind vampire walked into a bar, and into a chair and a table..

A ghost walks into a bar, the bar tender says “Sorry mate, we don’t serve spirits here.”

A witch walks into a bar and the bartender asks her “How does she like her poison?” “With an apple thanks.”

A three eyed jack-o-lantern walks in to a bar. The bartender asks “Who carved you up?”
Some blind guy!

A werewolf walks into a bar and everybody runs out except the bartender.
That’s because the werewolf likes his meat tender!

A vampire walks into a bar. The bartender asks “What is your poison?”
“Sunlight” The bartender said “Well you will be here all night to get a shot of that.”

A wizard walks into a bar. The bartender says “Put down the staff.”
So the wizard goes around knocking out the bar staff.

A bat walks in to a bar. The bar tender asks “Why he didn’t fly in.” ” It’s a against the law to be drunk and fly.”

A two legged black cat walks into a bar and asks for a bowel of milk. The bartender asks “How are you going to pay?” the black cat answers “I’m not, I’m to paw!

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender smiles and asks if he can smile. No the skeleton replies but can you live without your skeleton and takes it from him.

The one legged pirate walks into a bar. The bartender asks what you having matey.
A wooden leg of you bar stood first.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar full of zombies. They kill themselves.

An English zombie, an Irish zombie and an Australian zombie walk into a bar and the bar tender says “What the hell is this? Some kind of joke?”

A Termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?”

A spider walks into a bar and the bartender stands on it!

A frog walks into a bar. The bartender as asks what drink would you like any thing that will make me croak all night.

A frog walks in to a bar. The bartender picks it up and puts it in the blend for the witch at the bar to drink.

A demon walks into a bar. The bartender asks what is he having tonight?
An ice scream.

A Halloween candy walks in to a bar. The bartender says what the hell a Halloween candy just walking into the bar. So he took the rest of the night off.

A green witch walks into bar and is asked to leave as it’s red witch night.

A mummy walks into a bar to unwind.

A monster and a mummy walk into a bar. The monster wanted to wine up the mummy.

A spare rib walks in to a bar. the bar tender ask why ant spare rid said he is looking for someone special to put them in their cage

A mummy walks into a bar. The bartender asks what type of music are you into
Wrap music.

A monster gets off his push bike and walks into the bar. The bartender asks how was his day? The monster answers “its been hell the local cycle-path has been trying to kill me.”

A bartender walks into a bar having a Halloween party. That was last Halloween.

A scarecrow walks into a bar. The bartender says I can’t serve you a drink as you look already stuffed.

A zombie walks into a bar and everyone seeing the zombie tries to kill it. After about and hour the bar tender asks why he won’t die. It answers I’m a ghost dressed in a zombie body its has a get my kicks.

A ghost, a zombie and a witch walk into a bar. The bartender says I cant serve the dead in here. The witch says I’m not dead. Bang you are now the bartender smiles.

A skeleton walks into a bar and straight to the dance floor to pound some flesh.

A man walks into a crowded bar holding a gun, he yells “Which one of you zombies bit my wife last night? “some zombie in the back yells “you don’t have enough bullets mate”

A dead man and zombie walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender what is a good website for Halloween jokes. The bartender answers halloweenjokes.com

A 10 eyed monster walks into a bar
Because it wasn’t watching where he was going.

A dyslexic witch walked into a bra.

A man walks into a bar.
Because he wasn’t watching where he was going.

A crow walks into a bar a crow bar.

A zombie walks into a bar and gets concussed.

A zombie walks into a bar and gets shot in the head.

A zombie walks into a bar and gets stuck in it.

A zombie walks into a bar and to a group of screaming fans.

A zombie walks into a bar and tries to bite the bartender.

A zombie walks into a bar right after the Irishman, the Jew and the priest. The Irishman walks out with three zombies.

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a some blood wine.
The bartender said i don’t even know what blood wine is.
The the answers let me show you and bite a guy next to me at the bar
blood starts going every. see the vampire says and the bartender says i only see blood oh wait he will start to wine now.

Present ghost, past ghost and future ghost float into the bar on Halloween . It was tense?

Why didn’t the witch walk across the road?
Because she flew!

What kind of ship can’t you sink even if you put holes in it?
A ghost ship always floats!

A sandwitch walks up to the beach bar and before she orders the barman says ” we don’t serve food here.”

A man dressed as a dwarf walks into and under the bar!

A blind witch flew into a bar, and into a chair and a table..

A zombie walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. “Of course,” says the barkeep, “I’ve never seen a stiff drink.

Find funny spooky Halloween jokes

Bat Jokes | Black Cat Jokes | Boogeyman Jokes

Ghost Jokes | Skeleton Jokes | Witch Jokes | Zombie Joke