101 Spooky Halloween Jokes

101 Spooky Halloween Jokes – 101 Spooky Halloween Puns

One hundred plus jokes about halloween. Great for any thing or event that is to do with Halloween! Try and learn a Halloween pun and maybe get someone to laugh.

101 Spooky Halloween Jokes

Q: Why did the witch blow up 20 mice up like balloons in the morning?
A: So her black cat could eat mice bubbles!

Q: Why did the vampire keep a bloodhound around all the time?
A: It was his watch dog!

Q: What do you get if you cross a black cat and a witch’s pillow?
A: A black caterpillar!

Q: There were two long nose witches under a umbrella, Why didn’t get wet?
A: It wasn’t raining!

Q: What time is it when a witch takes one of your broomsticks?
A: Time to get a new one!

Q: When do vampire like to bite kangaroos?
A: On leap years!

Q: What is big as the biggest scariest monster in the world and weights nothing at all?
A: It’s shadow!

Q: Why did the bat flap it’s wings?
A: So it didn’t fall out of the sky!

Q: What is red, big and eats rocks?
A: A red, big rock eater!

Q: Why do witches have such long noses?
A: To keep them from smelling their smell feet!

Q: What is green and has a very long nose and found in the outback of Australia?
A: A very lost witch!

Q: What did the vampire say when he saw a kids riding by on a bike?
A: Yum! Yum! A meal on wheels!

Q: What did the witch say when she saw a kid roll by on skates?
A: Great local ingredients to go!

Q: Where is the best place to read 101 spooky Halloween Jokes?
A: The best website Halloweenjokes.com!

Q: What do you call a wizard in the river with no arms or legs?
A: BOB!

Q: Why did the little monster put wheels on a rocking chair?
A: To rock and roll!

Q: How do you make a tall monster short?
A: Take 50 percent off them!

Q: What kind of person is fed up with people?
A: A cannibal!

Q: Why are reptilian monsters scare of going in to the kitchen?
A: Because the screaming sounds from the eggs getting beaten!

Q: Why are ghost scared of the kitchen?
A: Because the screams from the cream being whipped!

101 Spooky Halloween Jokes

Q: Why did the soccer player miss the goal every time on Halloween?
A: It was his trick to treat the other teams goalkeeper!

Q: What do monster play football with?
A: Human heads!

Q: Why did the famous soccer striker dress up as a miner?
A: They are both after goals!

Q: Why did the zombie eat the cow legs first?
A: It wanted to eat ground beef!

Q: Why did the zombie eat the vegetarian?
A: It was on a lean diet!

Q: Why did the zombie attack you?
A: No reason!

Q: Did you hear about how the students all became zombies?
A: It started with just one small bite!

Q: How did the witch discipline her students?
A: She suspended them in time!

Q: What does a spider do for Halloween?
A: Build Halloween websites!

Q: What catches kids on Halloween?
A: Halloween websites!

Q: What do vampires do on Halloween?
A: Fang around the sky!

Q: Where is the place to run when a werewolf chases you?
A: A flea market!

Q: What do vampires drink?
A: Blood orange juice!

Q: How do you make a monster mash?
A: You drive over them!

Q: What happen to the boy who lost his parents to a violent robbery?
A: He moved into a cave!

Q: What happens when you kick a vampire in the balls?
A: He turns into a bat!

Q: Why do ghost have a few follows on Twitter?
A: They only tweet Boo!

Q: What is the best monster at hide and seek?
A: Ghosts!

Q: Why do famous comedians hate ghosts?
A: They are always booing them!

Q: What happens to a bee when it dies?
A: It turns into a zombie!

Q: How do you tell a mummy is stressing about Halloween?
A: It starts to unravel!

Q: What is spiders a favorite gym class?
A: Spin class!

Q: Why can’t spiders drive cars?
A: They keep spinning out!

Q: Why can’t you ever tell a skeleton a joke?
A: They have no ears!

Q: What monster is best at keeping secrets?
A: Skeletons they take them to the grave!

Q: Why can’t skeletons eat Halloween candy?
A: They have no guts!

Q: Why did the vampire marry the ghost?
A: She was boo-tiful!

Q: Where did spiders like to spin jokes?
A: At Halloweenjokes.com!

Q: Why are crows scared of scarecrows?
A: Scarecrows are heartless creatures!

Q: What did the scarecrow say to the attacking crow?
A: Stop pulling at straws!

Q: Why kind of eggs do demons come from?
A: Deviled eggs!

Q: What happen to the monster that sleep for 3 days?
A: He grew-some!

Q: Why was daddy monster so proud?
A: His son became grew some!

Q: On Halloween what did the skeleton wear?
A: A cos-tomb!

Q: Why did the monster need to go to the toilet?
A: He had a creepee wanting to get out!

Q: What is a monster’s favorite dessert?
A: You with ice-screams!

Q: What do scary monsters put in their favorite chilly?
A: Human beans!

Q: What do Angry birds say on Halloween?
A: “Trick or tweet”

Q: What happens when you hit a zombie with a T.V?
A: It gives a flat scream!

Q: What do you call an undercover bug?
A: A spyder!

Q: What is a little monsters favorite book?
A: Little house on the scary!

Q: Why did the music teacher look so dead?
A: The teacher wasn’t into soul music!

Q: Did you hear about the Halloween pizza joke?
A: Never mind it was a little to cheesy!

Q: How do you get a skeleton into a car?
A: Open the door!

Q: How does a skeleton get out of a car?
A: The same way it got in!

Q: Why did the bat land on the marshmallow?
A: It didn’t want to land in the hot chocolate!

Q: Does your blood hound bite?
A: Yes and it likes to chew, too!

Q: What the different between a dark spooky sky and an injured lion?
A: The sky pours with rain, the lion roars with pain!

Q: How do you make a witch go fast?
A: Put her on a diet!

Q: How do you stop a zombie from biting people in the house?
A: Put it outside!

Q: What did the boa constrictor say to its victim?
A: “I’ve got a crush on you!”

Q: What do glow worms drink?
A: Light beer!

Q: What’s a vampire after 99 years old?
A: A hundred years old!

Q: Why did the black cat fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead!

Q: Why did the zombie take so long eating the person’s arm?
A: Because the watch made it time consuming!

Q: Why did the termite stop eating the haunted house?
A: It was boring!

Q: What time of night do vampires go to the dentist?
A: Tooth-hurty!

Q: When do mathematicians die?
A: When their number’s up!

Q: Why was the witch’s broom late?
A: It overswept!

Q: How do you make a monster cross?
A: Hit it in the head!

101 Spooky Halloween Jokes

Q: When is a flying bat not a flying bat?
A: When it turns into a tree branch!

Q: A zombie walks into a bar?
A: Ouch!

Q: Did you hear about the unlucky pirate?
A: First he was shipwrecked then was recused by the Titanic!

Q: Why was the claw clumsy?
A: Because it was all fingers and thumbs!

Q: Do Witch’s broomsticks crash often?
A: One once!

Q: Why do vampires stay in bed all day?
A: Because they flu all night!

Q: How do you know the house is haunted?
A: The front door is ajar!

Q: When is it the cheapest time to phone a witch?
A: When they’re not home?

Q: Do zombies like brains?
A: Of corpse they do!

Q: How do you tell if a mummy is angry?
A: It flips its lid!

101 Spooky Halloween Jokes

Q: How did the yeti feel after a bad date with a ice witch?
A: Abominable!

Q: What did the alien say to the big green plant monster?
A: Take me to your weeder!

Q: How do vampires like their Halloween candy?
A: Bite size!

Q: What trees do ghost plant in their gardens?
A: Ceme-trees!

Q: What business do mummies specialize in?
A: The rag trade!

Q: What is the best place for Halloween Jokes?
A: Halloweenjokes.com is the place!

Q: What is a monsters favorite Halloween game?
A: Swallow the leader!

Q: Why did the new executioner go to work early?
A: To get a head start!

Q: Why didn’t the ghost bother to defend itself in court?
A: Because it didn’t have any legs to stand on!

Q: Why are witches get great Halloween bargains?
A: Because they’re good at haggling!

Q: Why did the witches go on strike at the broomstick factory?
A: Because they wanted sweeping reforms!

Thanks for reading these 101 spooky Halloween Jokes!

Find more funny Kids Halloween Jokes here!

Scarecrow Jokes  |  Witch Jokes | Skeleton Jokes | Ghost Jokes

Zombie Jokes | Spider Jokes | Monster Jokes | Halloween Candy Jokes