Scary Halloween Jokes, Scary Jokes For Halloween Humor

Scary Halloween Jokes

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Scary Halloween Jokes

Scary Jokes about monsters, spiders, ghosts, vampires, zombies and other Halloween spooky creatures!

Q: What did the devil say to god?
A: I’m going to cross you and your family out!

Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
A: Prank-enstein!

Q: What did the skeleton order for dinner?
A: Spare ribs!

Q: Why did the vampire get thrown out of the haunted house?
A: Because he was a pain in the neck!

Q: What do witches ask for at hotels?
A: Brooming services!

Q: Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
A: Because he only had one pupil!

Q: Did you hear about the zombie that lost his left arm and leg in a fight?
A: He’s all right now!

Q: What do witches put on their bagels?
A: Scream cheese!

Q: What’s big, scary, and has three wheels?
A: A monster riding a tricycle!

Q: Which circus performers can see in the dark?
A: The acro-bats!

Q: What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner?
A: They gave her the cold shoulder!

Q: What do ghosts use to clean their hair?
A: Sham-boo!

Q: Why did the vampire flunk art class?
A: Because he could only draw blood!

Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t chase you?
A: Lazy bones!

Q: Where do ghosts go when they’re sick?
A: To the witch doctor!

Q: What room is useless for a ghost?
A: A living room!

Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes!

Q: Why did the cannibal rush over to the cafeteria?
A; He heard children were half price!

Q: What’s the best way to catch an ear of corn?
A: Use a cobweb!

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo!

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo!

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist!

Q: What did the french fries dress up as for Halloween?
A: Masked potatoes!

Q: What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spooken to!

Q: Have you seen Quasimodo?
A: I have a hunch he’s back!

Q: What did mama cannibal said to baby cannibal when he told her that he really liked his grandfather?
A: Would you like another piece?

Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray!

Q: What do you call a roomful of ghosts?
A: A bunch of boo-boos!

Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving!

Q: What kind of key opens a casket?
A: A skeleton key!

Q: What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
A: Mas-scare-a!

Q: What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
A: I’d like a beer and a mop!

Q: What do you call dead cows that come back to life?
A: Zombeef!

Q: What make a ghost smile?
A: A good Halloween joke!

Q: What is black, scary and has six legs and two hands?
A: A black spider!

Q: Where do ghosts play soccer?
A: On the underground!

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