Scary Halloween Jokes
Scary Jokes about monsters, spiders, ghosts, vampires, zombies and other Halloween spooky creatures!
Q: What did the devil say to god?
A: I’m going to cross you and your family out!
Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Q: What did the skeleton order for dinner?
A: Spare ribs!
Q: Why did the vampire get thrown out of the haunted house?
A: Because he was a pain in the neck!
Q: What do witches ask for at hotels?
A: Brooming services!
Q: Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
A: Because he only had one pupil!
Q: Did you hear about the zombie that lost his left arm and leg in a fight?
A: He’s all right now!
Q: What do witches put on their bagels?
A: Scream cheese!
Q: What’s big, scary, and has three wheels?
A: A monster riding a tricycle!
Q: Which circus performers can see in the dark?
A: The acro-bats!
Q: What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner?
A: They gave her the cold shoulder!
Q: What do ghosts use to clean their hair?
Q: Why did the vampire flunk art class?
A: Because he could only draw blood!
Q: What do you call a skeleton who won’t chase you?
A: Lazy bones!
Q: Where do ghosts go when they’re sick?
A: To the witch doctor!
Q: What room is useless for a ghost?
A: A living room!
Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes!
Q: Why did the cannibal rush over to the cafeteria?
A; He heard children were half price!
Q: What’s the best way to catch an ear of corn?
A: Use a cobweb!
Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist!
Q: What did the french fries dress up as for Halloween?
A: Masked potatoes!
Q: What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spooken to!
Q: Have you seen Quasimodo?
A: I have a hunch he’s back!
Q: What did mama cannibal said to baby cannibal when he told her that he really liked his grandfather?
A: Would you like another piece?
Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray!
Q: What do you call a roomful of ghosts?
A: A bunch of boo-boos!
Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams!
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Q: What kind of key opens a casket?
A: A skeleton key!
Q: What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Q: What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
A: I’d like a beer and a mop!
Q: What do you call dead cows that come back to life?
Q: What make a ghost smile?
A: A good Halloween joke!
Q: What is black, scary and has six legs and two hands?
A: A black spider!
Q: Where do ghosts play soccer?
A: On the underground!